"After all we've been through, we can handle it. I know it. These assholes don't stand a chance."
Has your television schedule grown boring over the last seven months? Has there been a curious lack of impalements, amputations, and the occasional face-ripping-off? You're in luck! The Walking Dead season three premiere has blessed us with all this and more!
Welcome back to Zombieland, faithful readers! During our break, something miraculous happened--at least for this episode--our Walking Dead pals stopped being dumb-asses. Tonight, when they stormed a prison and killed dozens of zombies, it actually seemed like they were in charge. They have their shit together. In fact, throughout the whole episode, there was a surprising lack of the complaining, nitpicking, whining, and moaning that plagued Season 2. (This could be perhaps because Andrea was off-screen for most of the episode.)
Before we get to the grades, a quick plot summary for tonight's episode. So, the group finds a prison...and um...yeah that's about it. Grade time!
This is something The Walking Dead really needs to clear up: does Lori know FOR SURE that the baby is Shane's? Or is she just second guessing herself? Remember, in, Rick and Lori bang in a tent. So the baby could still be Rick's. Does Lori know for sure? Or will this just be a mystery until Lori's baby is born and starts raping people and shooting fat guys and shaving its head?
Daryl ate an owl. Daryl wears a poncho. Daryl gets an A.
Maggie & Glenn
- I loved the opening scene of the group raiding a house full of zombies. This is a great sequence, done without dialogue. Tonight's episode showed us The Walking Deadcreators are aware that dialogue is not their strong suit and they are only going to force us to sit through some when they absolutely have to. I also loved - like really LOVED - the new opening credits.
- The prison is a return to the creepy atmosphere of The Walking Dead pilot - not since Rick crawled out of that hospital have we been in such a perfect horror location. The pristine sanctuary of the CDC Headquarters and the complete and utter boredom of the Greene farm don't hold a candle to this dark, dripping new location.
- Bonus points to the prop department for attention to detail: at one point, Lori jimmied open a prison gate with Dale's old screwdriver.
- I'm glad the show made a time jump so that Lori's pregnancy and Carl's puberty make more sense, but I'm really just more curious about how the group survived the winter. I hope we get some flashbacks or at least some backstory.
- Without Dale and Shane around, the show is kind of lacking in rogue characters. Daryl's awesome but he's more of a survivor than a half-cocked idiot like Dale and Shane. I have a feeling these new prisoner characters might fill that role nicely.
- Despite the one year anniversary of the zombie apocalypse starting, the Hyundai Tuscon is still blindingly clean, fresh and spotless. Can't they at least throw a little blood on it?
Zombie Kill of the Week
Gotta give this one to Michonne with the sword. It's really a two-for-one and it's done with impeccable style. Bravo! We're trying something new here for the video part, so try clicking the clicky below to watch footage of this week's incredible Zombie Kill of the Week! It might not be available on Dish, but it's available right here, mothereffers! Click Here for The Zombie Kill of the Week Video! What did y'all think of this episode? Comment below!
You're right, I didn't catch Maggie discovering the armored zombies weakness. She will be rewarded next week with 10 bonus points and the soul of a unicorn.
HOWEVER, I must disagree with the "Beheading Is Not Killing" idea. It's an argument I've heard a lot before, especially when I named a beheading the #1 Coolest Zombie Kill in The Walking Dead (so far). ( http://charactergrades.com/the-walking-deads-best-zombie-kills/2/ )
The word "kill" is a misnomer of sorts, since walkers are already dead. What we really mean by kill is to eliminate the threat the zombie poses. So for our purposes here, "kill" is shorthand for incapacitate or "prevent from functioning in a normal way" which Michonne definitely did by stabbing and then slicing up these two zombies.
Yes, I take this too seriously. But thanks for reading, Angela! IF THAT IS YOUR REAL NAME
OK, I concede your point that incapacitate = kill, where zombies are concerned.
However, I still maintain that the de-facing of the armored zombie was better than the double-beheading. Just a personal preference, I suppose.
And thank you for the extra points and the unicorn soul for Maggie. What's the DPS for battling with a unicorn soul?
I take TWD super-seriously, too...love to discuss/debate/fight/scream about it, as the need arises. Thanks for engaging, "Jack." See you next week!
I completely agree with *almost* 100% of your assessment of "Seed." It was a phenomenal episode, full of everything we all love most about The Walking Dead...gore, gore, Carol & Daryl tension, gore, and a little more gore. :)
HOWEVER...I have to disagree with you on the "Zombie Kill of the Week." Michonne's double-beheading was really more of a "Zombie Incapacitation" than a kill. The heads were still moving and moaning as she walked out. My pick for the best kill on this ep would be the scene where Rick rips the riot mask off the zombie, taking its face with it, before stabbing it through the eyeball. That one was MUCH grittier than Michonne's admittedly badass beheading.
Also, in regard to Maggie...she was the one who figured out how to kill the armored zombies...doesn't she get some credit for that? Plus, the Maggie & Glen cuteness factor should at *least* get them a C. Right?
Just my two cents...love your blog!!
Can we talk about Lori's horrible fake pregnancy belly? It looks like a beach ball that someone stuck a piece of used gum on to be a belly button. The way she keeps holding it from the bottom AND the top makes me think wardrobe didn't even bother to strap it on.