"He was on the bottom bucking like a horse who knows it's going to the glue factory." -Frank
Ding-dong the witch of South Side is dead, and I'm a little feklempt. Sure she was crass, greasier than the back of a Waffle House and had a knack for cooking the crank, but that tough broad had more first-rate one-liners than Mike Tyson on fight night. So, pour one out for the fallen Gallagher matriarch and let's get on with this week's recap.
"I should've ate more salads." -Peg
Still banished from the Gallagher home thanks to a minor meth lab explosion, Peg's death rattling all over Sheila's shrink-wrapped couch and peeing into a bucket in the middle of the living room.
But Sheila's hospitality and Jody's pharmacopia of painkillers can only keep this salty bird comfortable for so long before she rolls herself in front of a commuter bus. But as fate would have it, Jody's there to save Peg from getting pancaked by the #6, so it's off to Sheila's for one last female bonding session over the difficulties of keeping your hoo-hah clean, which had the air of some kind of demented middle school sleepover.
But instead of slathering on mud masques and playing light as a feather, stiff as a board, Sheila euthanizes Peg by sitting on top of her and crushing the life out of her with a pillow.
For what's worth, Peg spent most of her death knell trying to make up for lost time not only by imparting grandmotherly life lessons, like cooking meth, but also with premium steaks and cold hard cash, so the woman's all right in my book. Plus, best last words ever: "Don't puss out on me.” So if you haven't poured one out, yet, for this bad ass mother now would be the time.
"You gotta hit kids where it hurts, in the face with a closed fist.” -Frank
Cheering and, alternately, crying over his mother's death, Frank appears to be lacing that illegal morphine drip with some raw emotion in this episode. I can't tell if he's grieving for his mother or of the childhood she apparently robbed him of, but it's out of character even for him to reach for the glue bottle instead of a beer. Plus, if the man goes running to Monica for comfort -- who looks like she's got less going on upstairs than an overturned glass -- then he has to be emotionally reeling.
"Front door was locked, so I came in the back. No pun intended.” -Frank
Ian and Mickey's forbidden love affair has reached the end of the chocolate highway thanks to Frank getting a birds' eye view of the two lovebirds bangeranging behind the dairy case. Ian spends most of the episode keeping Mickey off Frank's trail, who, as it turns out, doesn't have the balls to kill him anyway.
Speaking of Mickey, when he goes home to enlist his brothers for help, not only is the kitchen table covered in an impressive array of forties, they've got what looks to be enough fire arms and medieval weaponry to arm a small backwoods militia. All I have to say is kudos to the Milkovichs for keeping their gun closet so organized. If it were my apartment, I imagine it would look something like my Tupperware cabinet, which means I would have no doubt accidentally gotten shot or maimed by hip-checking the cupboard door closed by now.
With Lip gone thanks to his resentment for being labeled the golden genius goose, Ian's left as the man of the house. I'm sure Lip will be back, but in the meantime, let's hope Ian doesn't give up his West Point wet dream for the good of the family.
Lip & Karen
"Vag it out and sell it.” –Karen
Now that Karen's attempt at a happy life has come to a crushing end thanks to her inability to love anyone other than her mother, she's enlisted Lip to help her hawk her unborn fetus to the highest bidder. While Lip spends the adoption meetings concerned about what kind of family his potential kin could be raised by, Karen's a few dollar signs away from selling her baby to the Russian mob. If only Madonna liked white babies... Whatever happens, they better seal the deal soon because with the amount of pot she's smoking and the prenatal vitamins I'm sure haven't made it to her morning routine, she's going to need a "Sorry No Refunds” sign tattooed on her vagina before she pops out that kid.
Good for Fiona for going after that G(ood)E(nough)D(egree). Girl's on her way...for the moment. Until, that is, Jimmy finally wears her down, cheats on his wife and they both end up earless in a Colombian prison. While it hurts me to say this given that Lip used to be my favorite character before he went, she gets some points for giving Lip an ultimatum. Someone needs to give him a case of shaken baby syndrome so he wakes the F up.
Debbie & Carl
"I don't get it. Half of the world has penises, why do people get so upset about seeing them?" -Carl
Debbie's still giving Jimmy a hard time, which I find commendable, and Carl's finally found an outlet for his psychotic tendencies: tackle football! Only, did anyone check to see if that kid he bulldozed was still breathing??
Veronica & Kev
"My testicles have never been my ally." -Kev
Makin' babies and looovin it!
- Sheila literally blows her own kazoo throughout the episode.
- Frank's morphine-induced rant to Ian about having no qualms with homosexuality may have been one of the more understanding and fatherly monologues he's had all season.
- "Drug Run! I'm on it!” -Jody
- "I wish I could punch my kid in the face. Reminds me of my ex-wife.” –Tommy
- "It must be a halfway house. It's very messy. I'm holding a crack baby.” Jimmy's wife
- "My mother's nipples were the size of sand dollars.” –Frank
- "Jack Daniels and orange juice mix better than I would have imagined." -Frank
- Just when Jody was starting to grown on me as, he HAS to whip out "All Out of Love" on the bongos. One million demerits X infinity.
So is it me or is there the potential for something weird between Jody and Sheila? Wouldn't exactly be Oedipal, but the thought of it creeps me out nonetheless. He better start stocking up on some Astroglide.