"Bonding with a patient, how very HankMed of you.”
Is someone passing around dog-eared copies of smutty porn books in the Royal Pains writers' room? First we get several somewhat belated references to Fifty Shades of Grey and now we have a free-spirited romance novelist as a patient with Hank getting addicted to her saucy work. Clearly something's in the air that's affected Divya because she has gone cuckoo for Argentinian Cocoa Puffs with her 'Meet My Boyfriend' party that she threw at...wait for it...poor, lovesick Jeremiah's gorgeous mansion. Somehow, Hank and Harper are already in a rut even though I didn't even realize they were officially dating. But our sweet, darling Paige made some major progress with her adoption issue and even managed to save a life along the way. All without messing up her perfect hair.
B+ I really love Hank's frivolous and fun side (yes, I swear he has one), and we got to see a bit of it as he got completely sucked into reading his patient's romance novel. I'm digging him and Harper together, but it's a bit of a red flag that they're already in a bit of a rut. Although the morning exercise dates are pretty cute, and that steamy romp in the parking lot definitely boosted things on the hot and spicy scale. (I love my hot and spicy scale. Everyone should get one.) I've also got to give Hank credit for playing the big brother role with Divya and being appropriately interested in getting to know Rafa.
"We'll get to know him, man to man…and to Evan.”
A- The more I start to like Harper, the more I realize I miss Jill. I mean, come on. Harper is basically Jill 2.0! She's smart, beautiful, sassy, doctory, and keeps Hank on his toes -- all very Jill-like. She and Hank have killer banter skills and she can hold her own in the witty remark department, but it wasn't until this episode that the chemistry really clicked. Maybe it was all that romance novel talk. Good God, someone tell us what happens in chapter nine!
"If you're leaving me for Rafa, I totally get it.” –Harper cheekily to Hank
A+ Let's hear it for Paige! She was certainly the woman of the hour and, as Evan put it, a true HankMed hero. She was saving lives and taking names. Well, really just the one life, but she also managed to confront her issues with her adoption and made peace with her parents. I swear, it's like part of you wants to hate Paige because of her amazing hair (I can't help it, I'm obsessed), fantastic clothes, and Manhattan penthouse that 'just doesn't feel like home anymore,' but it's humanly impossible to hate her. She's just lovely! She majorly bonded with Hank's smarty pants teenage patient who was going through a similar crisis of self-identity and belonging, eventually leading to her own long overdue family reunion. All is right in the Collins household, at least, for now...
"They may not have made me, but they made me who I am." (How is this not the international slogan for adoption?)
A Okay, who are you and what have you done with Evan R. Lawson? Seriously, when did Evan become so calm and wise?! He has been completely supportive of Paige and even convinces her to try and talk about her feelings. HER FEELINGS. All boys, take note. He's so attuned to people's emotions right now he's even the first one to notice the
completely obvious subtle ways in which Jeremiah has totally fallen for Divya. Duh, Evan. Duh. But what will he do with this information? Oh! And now that Evan's finally gotten the 'nod' of approval from Paige's stern dad, he now has to deal with being the only one to have met...DUN DUN DUN...Paige's birth mother!
B Suffice it to say, Divya has gone Fifty Shades of Cray for her polo-playing Argentinian man candy. Can you blame her? No, no, you cannot. I kind of want to blame her for trampling all over poor Jeremiah's heart, but I honestly believe she has no idea he's into her. How could she? Rafa has a much more, um, obvious way of showing he cares. She basically spent the entire episode acting like a giddy school girl -- gushing about Rafa to Hank of all people and throwing an elaborate party to 'introduce' her boyfriend to her friends. Haven't they already met? But whatever, I'm happy for her, and it's about time she had an actual love storyline with a guy so smitten by her he would risk paralysis to be with her.
Evan: "Yeah, it's pretty un-Divya.”
Hank: "She's usually so…”
Hank: "I was going to say reserved.”
Evan: "Yeah, me too.”
B+ I can't possibly be the only one who had totally pegged Rafa as the love 'em and leave 'em type, can I? But this mad love routine he's got going with Divya seems to be the real thing! There was a teeny tiny moment when I thought he wasn't going to show for the party, but then he rolled in looking all suave and bearing a heartfelt gift for Divya and some lackadaisical comment about how Argentinians would never eat dinner so early. He kind of seems like the nicest guy in the world and not at all the lothario I'd been expecting. Then he goes and seals the deal by saying things like, "I've never been so comfortable with someone in my arms.” Yeah, you had me at hola.
A- Jeremiah is the Duckie of the Hamptons. He's the reliable guy who's always around when you need him, but never quite has the guts to fully go after the girl. We just need to get him a fedora and a bolo tie. Divya can't help but rub her relationship with Rafa in everyone's face, so it's hard to imagine she's doing it to Jeremiah deliberately. But, ugh. This poor guy! He even resorts to daydreaming in what may have been one of my all time favorite dream sequences (which again skewed romance novel-esque) with Jeremiah diagnosing Rafa's paralysis only to turn around and instantly cure it, resulting in Divya falling madly in love with him and into his arms. Cue the record scratch, because that didn't come close to actually happening.
"But is that really such a tragedy? Will the world suffer if you can't ride on your horse waiving your mallet around?”
Patients of the Week
A & AAh, the classic tale of a dissimilar mother and daughter pair. That's a classic tale, right? Well, anyway, the free-spirited romance novelist mom drags her type A genius daughter to HankMed for what appear to be stress-induced symptoms. While Jackie, the mom, is the author of such lurid tomes as The Other Side of Ecstasy, Fiona, the daughter, will do just about anything to take her AP Chemistry final. Turns out, the only thing they actually have in common is a genetic disease. No! That's not true. I mean, they do both have that disease, but they of course also learn just how similar they are in many ways, thus prompting Paige to reconnect with her family. It all comes back around. But hopefully not those diseases.
"You both have a condition known as Quincke's disease.” –Hank "That sounds far more adorable than what we experienced.” –Jackie
"Hurts Like a Mother”
AMucho progress for Paige and her family -- although, this whole 'birth mother' issue could pose a problem (Captain Obvious, reporting for duty). Hank and Harper could be headed for more sexy parked car rendez-vous, but I imagine next week's Boris drama will drive them apart. Why does Boris always have to drag Hank to some Godforsaken jungle at the end of the season? And with Rafa planning to take off for his polo tour (because that's a thing people do), Divya could be in for some heartbreak. Will Jeremiah be there to pick up the pieces?!
- Carrie Preston, one of my favorite guest stars (well hello there, Elsbeth Tascioni from The Good Wife) brings her kookiness to the Hamptons as the romance novelist mother
- Evan's fab navy blue jacket with white elbow patches
- Um, is Boris even aware of how many people live in his guest house? Can I come live there?
- Magical TV bed sheets that stay on like strapless dresses