Royal Pains

Meet Hank. Hank’s a doctor and an all around good guy. He worked his butt of in a Brooklyn hospital saving lives and being adorable. That is, until a rich patient died on his watch (despite his best efforts to save him). The stuffy hospital board thought it best to fire Hank so as to appease the dead rich guy’s family. Stripped of his scrubs (not literally, but me-ow) and stethoscope, Hank was lost. To top it off, his social status-loving fiancée dumped his ass.

Enter Hank’s witty, entrepreneurial, and street-smart younger brother, Evan. Evan had a plan to shake his big bro of his job loss depression that would take their lives in a whole new direction: East. East Hampton, that is. Evan worked his magic and his business savvy mind to get them set up in the guesthouse of an obscenely wealthy and mysterious European businessman named Boris. Hank’s inherent skills as a doctor and MacGyver-esque prowess for using any and all resources available to save lives quickly developed a reputation for him as a Concierge Doctor. Rich people hate going to the doctor. So Hank comes to them. And thus, HankMed was born – with Hank saving lives and Evan cashing the checks.

Episode Guide

Season 5 Episode 13
Bones to pick, indeed. I've had a bone to pick with this beloved show for the entire season. I think the USA preview announcer guy phrased it best when he said "This has been Hank's most stressful summer yet." Right? I mean, ugh. The drug addiction! Divya's pregnancy! The Hank Med buyout! Evan's campaign! I may need a vacation in the Hamptons after all this.
Season 5 Episode 12
Hank continues to deal with the repercussions of his prescription drug addiction that was quickly resolved last week with some hooey about an undiagnosed injury after falling off a bar stool at Evan's wedding.
Season 5 Episode 11
Royal Pains, we need to talk. Things are getting radicular, and I don't just mean Hank's absurd latent shoulder pain. First we've got this inane fake fight that's being forced upon Evan and Paige as if the writers were just BORED. Then we've got Hank's PG decent into prescription drug abuse which ended up lasting about 2.5 seconds after a season's worth of build up. And to top it all off, we have a cliffhanger based solely upon a miscellaneous side character that viewers never even realized they were supposed to care about. Oh, that random cop guy from six episodes ago with the bratty daughter might die? laihwet['oIEHIVRL4HWsdfodigp;e3 -- my bad, that was me falling asleep on my keyboard. In the immortal words of Happy Gilmore, who gives a shit?
Season 5 Episode 9
You'd think watching Evan whippersnap his way through a political debate would have been entertaining, but we hardly even got to see it when it was cut short by that insufferable "journalist" having to go to the hospital. Hank continues to teeter on the edge of a pain killer addiction despite Jeremiah's best efforts while the writers seem to drive an imaginary wedge between Paige and Evan for the sake of a plot device. I can't believe I've never used this line before, but this episode was a royal pain.
Season 5 Episode 8
BORIS IS BACK and you're gonna be in trouble! Hey la, hey la, BORIS IS BACK! That was pretty badass when he emerged from the shadows (hey, maybe that's why they call his mansion Shadow Pond...) and returned to the Hamptons in all his mysterious Eastern European glory. Watching him scare the crap out of Evan was an added bonus.
Season 5 Episode 7
Hank was surrounded by a whole lot of crazy during this episode, which may explain the nuttiness of the title. First of all, his frenemy slash pitbull attorney who, not surprisingly, can’t control his angry outbursts in spin class. Paige and Evan get in their first real married couple fight (over a piece of art that looks like, well a red square). Divya’s also got a case of the crazies as she attempts to take over Jeremiah’s house with insufferable things like plants and cashmere throws. I keep forgetting she’s pregnant, which completely legitimizes her craziness and the fact that she’s constantly on the brink of tears.
Season 5 Episode 6
Well, we've reached the obligatory Top Chef cameo portion of the season. That's right, Gail Simmons made a shameless plug in this week's episode, reminding us all that USA and Bravo are both owned by Kabletown and answer to the promotional whims of the peacock. Is it just me or did it seem unfortunate that one of this week's cases happened to revolve around food poisoning? Let's hope there's no seafood challenge on Top Chef: Masters this season...
Season 5 Episode 5
Are the Hamptons so small and elite that we're running out of supporting roles for subplots? I couldn't stand the bumbling cop and his bratty daughter the first time around and certainly didn't need a second dose. Clearly this was not my favorite RP to date. There was little to no plot development and a shocking lack of Jeremiah. Watching Evan run around fully clothed on the beach trying to sway Hamptonites to vote for him was pretty amazing, especially when he ended up looking like a lobster due to his inability to tell his nighttime moisture cream from his daytime moisture cream with SPF.
Season 5 Episode 4
Divya announces her big news to the HankMed gang (well, Jeremiah does it for her) and the brothers Lawson overreact in totally opposite yet adorable ways. Hank dotes on Divya, trying to keep her off her feet and in the shade, while Evan freaks out and attempts to buy out the contents of a Hamptons baby store. Alas, it's Jeremiah who actually asks Divya what she really needs, which is space.
Season 5 Episode 3
Wow, guys. Budapest and Savannah. As if traveling to the Hamptons every week weren't enough, we were treated to a little HankMed field trip with Hank dashing off to Hungary to investigate Boris's "death" and Divya and Jeremiah an awkward little trip for two down to Georgia to tour the hospital company they're thinking of partnering with. Lucky for us, the Royal Pains travel budget must be sky high this year.
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