"Great news! Lots of old people have chlamydia!"
Grab your trapper keepers and eraser collection (just me?), because we are traveling back to middle school for a lesson in sex education - Parks and Rec style. The twist? It's not the crazy teenagers we're worried about but senior citizens. And they aren't the only ones being schooled. Forced by a judge to give up screens for a week, Tom gets a lesson from Ron in how to be at peace with nature and without an iPhone, while Ben and April learn about the fine line between humans and robots. Let's jump right into these amazing learning opportunities.
This week Leslie's task was educating the Pawnelderly about safe sex. There's just one tiny problem: Pawnee law states that only abstinence can be taught in sexual education. This is brought to the group's attention by Marcia and Marshall Langman from the Family Stability Foundation. I would love to hate Marcia Langman, but the introduction of her husband Marshall was just more than I could ever ask for. Leslie referred to him as "vivacious," and this smug description is perfect. I worked at a salon in college, so I've met many Marshall Langmans in my lifetime. Their keyboard renditions of abstinence jingles never get old.
Ultimately, despite the law, Leslie knows that she must teach the sex education program that she knows will actually work, but I was glad that she was censured by the governor. Not because I like seeing Leslie knocked down, but because I it's good to see some consequences for sticking your neck out and doing what's right.
Ron & Tom
After crashing into a fire-hydrant while texting and driving, Tom was forced to learn how to survive without the technological devices that he holds so dear. And what better teacher in this topic than Ron f*cking Swanson. I loved this pairing, we don't see it very often and it works really well. Also, this storyline brought out the sides of Ron and Tom that I love the most. Ron was there for Tom without being overly sentimental and obviously, a Swanson man (read: lumberjack) is really at his full potential when out in the wilderness. Conversely, Tom wouldn't be able to earn even one boy scout badge. This blend of fish out of water and bear in the woods makes me a very happy camper.
"I bought a lasso online, Leslie. I turned all my jeans into Daisy Dukes."
I always love seeing Ann in nurse/public health mode and she really anchored the sex education part of this episode by making it seem real, despite being an incredibly ridiculous premise. Nothing screams "healthcare professional" like dressing like Jessie from Toy Story.
Ben & April
"Terrific. Hey, I'm hungry. Let's go eat some batteries, I mean human food!"
These two keep trucking along together in Washington and it's on the verge of boring. This week they dealt with a robotic Congressmen. And I'm not just referring to a politico with a stiff and uptight personality; this man seemed to have an on/off switch. Thank goodness we've never had to worry about our presidential candidates being a robot.
Secondary Character Round-Up
"Do pubic hairs get longer the older you get? Because that's happening to me, what do I do?”
Not as many LOLs from Andy this week but still a great addition to the sex education team. Andy doesn't need to always be outrageous when even a subtle "woo" after Leslie says "Great. Lots of old people have chlamydia!" sends me into a fit of laughter.
"Ann Perkins, your expertise is thrilling. And, frankly, almost arousing."
I concur Chris Traeger.
- Tom's tweets before his accident: "Four green lights in a row #blessed," "Drive faster, blue civic. Daaaaaaaamn. #soccermoms," "Gotta pass this lady ejkerkj." "Just hit a fire hydrant, but I survived. #Unbreakable #WhatsMrGlassuptothesedays #whynosequel?"
- The way in which Jerry checks his e-mail. (AltaVista and types "please go to yahoo.com.")
- LeRon James
- Marshall Langham: brought to you by your Grandmother who has said "Wait, he's gay? But he's married!"
- The sex education fruit. I don't know what that pineapple represented and I'm not sure if I want to...
- Where was Lucy Lawless???? I was looking forward to seeing her in this episode. I need some female Ron in my life.
- More Jerry, please!! His lines are the highlights of every episode.