We Are Both.
"Do you really need the smell of the written word to get the magic flowing again, Love?"
We're getting to that point in Once Upon a Time where the characters start having major identity crises and the audience has no idea who anyone is anymore. You know, just that normal, natural point at the beginning of the second season of any show where everyone is completely lost and things
start continue to make absolutely no sense. I'm starting to have some trouble figuring out who/what/where these characters are at any given time, which doesn't make me feel very bright considering the level at which this show operates. So I guess it makes the most sense to identify people based on what they're wearing? Sure, that sounds like as good a device as any to use here. So remember: low cut leather dress: fairy tale. Glittery body makeup: fairy tale. Low cut leather dress with glittery body makeup: Maine. That Dr. Whale is into some weird shit. And it probably involves nuns. This week, we learned that the town line that has kept everyone away from their precious Boston STILL EXISTS! If you cross the line, as Sneezy sadly does, you lose all memory of your fairy tale life. Your "cursed" self becomes your only self. So we're not going to get to go to Boston? I was promised lots of Boston this season, and so far, there has been little evidence of beans or tea or Benjamin Franklin. Oh, he's a Philadelphia man, you say? Sorry. I wasn't educated at your elitist Boston school. Now on to the grades, of which I'm sure you earned many during your fine, Boston-bred education.
Somewhere between catching a crossbow arrow in her bare hand and conjuring a fucking awesome cupcake, Regina has time to have a change of heart and let Henry live with his gramps. Wha? I love Regina. She is far and away the best character not played by Robert Carlyle. She has actual potential for growth. But that growth is not very interesting when it happens over a commercial break. There is such a huge pacing issue on this show, I don't even know where to start. Regina is suddenly all "I want to redeem myself," and now I guess she'll just sit in her gorgeous mansion reading Martha Stewart magazines or whatever it is she does when she's not lighting shit on fire or pushing her mom through a portal.
Unfortunately, David's, er, aptitude, has worn off on the prince, who gives a rousing speech that starts with "Storybrooke David was... is... weak. And he hurt the woman I love." Sense of self confusion! He really gets the crowd, though, when he explains that everything is "both." Yep, that totally puts all of our questions to bed and we have now completely forgotten about Boston and how charming their baseball fans are. Finally, he lets everyone know that being a resident of Storybrooke means you can be anything you want to be: you can "live in a shoe" or "eat frozen burritos and write software." The career choices are endless, but they are all very, very smelly.
Emma & Mary Margaret
Wooden Clunker of the Week
"We Are Both"
- Coming soon -- One stop cobbling!
- August W. Booth's eyes opened! But he's a creepy marionette now. But he's alive! And papa knows it!
- David hilariously entering Regina's house brandishing a sword.
- New leather jacket alert! Emma is wearing a brown motorcycle jacket that she casually picked up on the way to the Enchanted Forest. No big deal.
- Instantly after David announces that he'll tell everyone "the plan" in two hours, Ruby asks, "What's the plan?" Princey: "I don't know, but I have two hours to figure it out."
- Regina's father asks her if maybe she just has "cold feet."
- Rumpy's makeup in his outdoor scene with Regina. It was very yellow and weird/bad/what was with the five o'clock shadow?
- Mr. Gold didn't know Boston remains out of his reach? Who's making these magical rules anyway?
- David doesn't know who the Mad Hatter is, but he has David-memories of reading Alice in Wonderland at school. Whaaa? This show done hurt mah brains.
- Next week: a whole lot of Mary Margaret and Emma.
I love this season!!
Not sure if this is a good sign of my mental condition though.
Oh, I love the finale to your Regina expose here; it’s funny BECAUSE it’s true. Your point about how she won’t have much purpose unless she’s the antagonist is true, but she could become the protagonist now that she has that book, and use magic to do good things. Honestly, I wouldn’t have even thought about watching if I hadn’t seen it on my PrimeTime Anytime recordings yesterday. It’s a pity I didn’t see the premiere but the shows delete themselves after eight days. Now I can’t wait to find out how they’re going to get back, and who is going to win, Rumplestiltskin or The Queen.