"Yes Jess, that's exactly what hip, trendy Millennials want to eat – casserole.” –Schmidt
Everyone's favorite new girl continues on her career exploration track with a foray at a local casserole joint slinging vats of miscellaneous bean goop -- ah, the American dream. The arrival of four young uber hipsters in the loft next door whips Schmidt into a tizzy when he realizes they do not think he's charming and wise, but rather a "viciously unbearable asshead.” Winston tries desperately to turn his life around when he discovers (thanks to Schmidt's subscription to a real time actuarial service) that his life expectancy dwindles with every poor decision he makes...of which he has made plenty. And Nick, well Nick continues to straddle the line between depressingly sad and awesomely hilarious as he spends a great deal of time, energy, and cash on pranking Schmidt into thinking he's becoming an old man. It was well worth it, I say.
"Do you think that the neighbors will want like four individual casseroles or like one large party size casserole?” –Jess
Schmidt hasn't quite accepted that his perfectly coiffed hair, tailored suits, and boring job title have officially made him a grown up, which is one step closer to old. Surprisingly, he might just be the most successful, career-wise, of the group -- he's like the Chandler of the new Millennium, but with more fashion sense and a better way with the ladies. Schmidt has so much trouble getting the "pan-ethnic, pan-sexual hive mind” across the hall to approve of him that he even resorts to asking Jess to help him with his cool factor. It was a new low for Schmidt...especially since Nick convinced him he's shrinking.
"I try on four different pairs of shoes with every outfit, rain or shine, you know that.” –Schmidt
"They never did get that Frisbee back. I use that Frisbee as a dish. Seriously, I use it for pistachios in my room.” –Nick "If I had a dollar for everybody I couldn't hang out with because they hated Schmidt, I'd be rich. Like, fill my gas tank all the way up rich.” –Nick
"Damn I want to care about something as much as you care about ruining Schmidt's life!” –Winston
"This is like the end of a horror movie.” –Jess "Or the beginning of a pranking movie.” –Nick "There are no pranking movies.” –Jess "Yet.” –Nick
- "I'm just going to sleep off an ass ton of quinoa.” –Jess
- Schmidt calling Nick 'Gran Torino' before getting into a very handsy slap fight
- "Yes it has 'old' in the title and yes it's all over my body.” –Nick, about wearing Old Spice during the "classic cologne fight" with Schmidt.
- More Schmidtisms: "You used to inspire me. I mean, not specifically, because I find teaching to be icky, but in a vague kind of ‘Look at that go-getter in a brightly colored sweater' kind of way.” "I crushed it. I crushed it all day today and then I crushed it some more and then it asked me what I was doing and I told it that I was crushing it.” "Nobody does an onscreen death like Anthony Eds. He's like the Hilary Swank of bald men.”
- Let's get our genres of rerun television straight -- TGIF was a full-on '90s phenomenon
- I hate those young kids so much. Have they really never seen Top Gun? Do they really not know any classic TV catch phrases? Winston put it best: "Those kids with the ‘found' furniture and no TV because it's cool.”
- Referring to Family Matters as a low-budget web series. Stupid kids. I think I may be just as much of a grumpy curmudgeon as Nick...
- Where's Cece?