"Your little pooch where you keep your extra cookies.”
Let's get right to it: Jess gets a lengthy glimpse of Nick's penis! And penises? They are hilarious. If this show has been a little light on laughs in the past few episode, last night made up for that. Were they cheap laughs? Sure, if you want to be an asshole about it. A laugh's a laugh. And I laughed. A lot. It starts with Schmidt, humiliated by Jess's comment about his extra cookie pooch, stripping down to dance naked in front of his mirror as part of a weird, primal self-esteem ritual. But his reggae music is too loud and Jess – who's not super good with boundaries – interrupts this personal moment and gets a nice long look at Little Nick and lets out a delighted/embarrassed cackle. Jess then wants to talk to the whole apartment about how she sawNick's "pee-pee and bubbles.” She just wants to get it all out in the open and have the boys share their feelings. But Nick is a delicate flower who can't handle anyone laughing within a five-mile radius of his penis. He heads off to his date with a suitcase full of body issues in tow. Obviously, this leads to Nick's date ending poorly. Instead of sexy times with his irony-loving lady, they just awkwardly cuddle. It's weird and they both look unhappy. When he returns to the apartment the next morning Jess still wants to talk about his peen. Hoping to foster an emotionally honest conversation, she retrieves her "Feelings Stick” from her purse. The "Feelings Stick” is basically a little magic wand that Jess gives her students to hold when they need to share their emotions (because despite the evidence to the contrary, Jess is an adult with job). Nick, of course, breaks the Feelings Stick and tries to get away from Jess. Undeterred, Jess chases him to the elevator. This only manages to make things worse. She tries to apologize by telling him it is totally awesome that he explores his sexuality by dancing naked to Jamaican music. Finally Nick realizes Jess can't say the word "penis.” And it is true – she absolutely cannot say the word penis. And their conversation, rather appropriately, devolves into a game of Penis with Jess repeating variations of word over and over again: Pernis. Peeeniissss. Penist. Peeeneer. Unfortunately, all this fun is ruined by Jess's model BFF Cee Cee, whose advice to Jess is basically, "Show him your vadge.” Which, OK, what? Jess wants to make things less awkward. But Jess (being Jess) decides to get naked and go hang out in Nick's room. Which of course is where Nick brings his lady friend from the night before to have the sex they didn't have earlier. And instead of immediately being like, "Oh, hey! I was looking for a sock… don't mind me or my nudity.” Jess tries to hide under the bed. Obviously, this ends disastrously. The roommates gather to discuss this latest violation of boundaries with everyone but Nick jumping aboard the Feelings Stick bandwagon. Nick, being a party pooper, bails on the conversation, forcing Jess to go to Nick and apologize... By learning to say the word 'penis'. Which she does. She also sincerely apologizes. But mostly she says 'penis'. Meanwhile, during all of this, Winston and Schmidt mostly bro-out and talk about:
1) How sad Schmidt's life is and
2) Nick's penis.
Talking about it with everyone? A little less so but she's still behaving in a recognizably adult fashion. Taking Cee Cee's advice and giving Nick a peek of her lady bits? Now we've crossed over into cartoon territory. By and large, however, Jess behaved like an adult for the majority of the episode. An adult with boundary issues, sure, but she also referenced her job! And acknowledged her hang-ups about sex (sort of)! And, most impressively, wore a collection of very sensible looking pajamas!
- Where is Winston applying for jobs and can somebody refer me? I could talk about pop culture all day.
- Jess pulls a three-point explorer hat out of her purse with no explanation.
- People really love making Zooey Deschanel say "penis.”
- No, but seriously, I graduate in six months: where is this job where GaGa gossip is a crucial part of the interview?
- I was upset to realize that Betty White is, in fact, the only living Golden Girl.
- Can't Jess have more than one lady friend? Cee Cee can't be her go to for everything.
- I'm calling BS on Winston's claim that there was no culture in Latvia. The Internet is a global phenomenon.
- Zooey Deschanel is separating from her husband of two years Ben Gibbard. Bummer.