Nashville. We Live in Two Different Worlds.
"These are not my people" - Rayna
From Teddy's mayoral campaign, to Juliette's career, to Rayna and Deacon's relationship, this episode was chock full of things crashing and burning in a fiery pit of tears, stubborness, and quick-dry nail polish. But, between all of the chaos of ex-lovers and kleptomania, one pair battled through to emerge as the show's new power couple... and they bonded over a shared love of yogurt and meaningless sex. We should all be so lucky.
Rayna, Deacon & Teddy
Teddy's campaign for Mayor of Nashville isn't going as smoothly as anyone would've hoped, so his fundraising team enlists the help of his wife and her ex to rouse the crowd in a frenzy of country music and awkward stares. Rayna is more than happy to help Teddy, especially when she learns that his old flame, Peggy (I'm not going to call her Margaret, because I can) is part of his team. Deacon is... also happy to help? Despite his hatred for Teddy, his weirdness with Rayna, and his allegience to his rehab sponsor and fellow candidate, Coleman, Deacon agrees to play the fundraiser show. He does this while ignoring the giant, red, flashing arrows pointing everywhere and warning that THAT IS A HORRIBLE IDEA WHAT ARE YOU DOING? Rayna gets points this week for not turning into a jealous psychopath when confronted with her husband's ex... whatever, when she's spending the majority of her days playing sensual love songs with her ex... whatever. And, after Deacon and Teddy get in an on-stage dick-measuring competition, Rayna finally overcomes her dependence on Deacon and cuts him loose. Though, we all know that won't last, right? Teddy, for his part, gets points for not punching Deacon in the face, but loses points for his secret rendezvous with Peggy in the middle of a parking lot. They couldn't even get a motel room? He's obviously not cut out to be a politician. Some might argue that the emergence of Peggy is enough to squash my "Teddy is a closeted homosexual" campaign, but I maintain that their conversation was just ambiguous enough to keep the big gay hope alive. Just you wait.
Because no one's hair looks that good in the morning, you bitch.
Because if you can't act like an adult, you need to go sit at the kid's table (see: Juliette's ladybusiness.)
Because secrets don't make friends.
"This does not look sexy. This looks poor."
With the whole world witnessing her sticky fingers, and her meth-head mother pestering her about the grossest macaroni recipe known to man, Juliette is a bit unreceptive to the the team that has been brought in to help recover her image and save her career. After Robin Roberts' invasive questions on Good Morning America, her manager threatening to quit and leave her to dissolve into a vapor smelling suspiciously like Tara Reid, and a good ol' fashioned cry sesh with her mother, Juliette opens up about her Winona-esque bad habit. Turns out, as a child growing up with deadbeat parents she used to steal as proof that she could take care of herself. Turns out, she's as dumb and misguided now as she was as a kid. But, by the end, Juliette seemed willing to do whatever it takes to save her image and get her tour back on track. I, for one, can't wait to see her serving food at a homeless shelter just as much as I can't wait to see her punch that bitch Robin Roberts right in the face.
Gunnar & Hailey
"You know, if I didn't have first hand proof of the contrary, I'd accuse you of being a dude."
Gunnar has finally realized that Scarlett, despite her weird, possessive little relationship, doesn't want to jump his bones, so he's moved on to his brand spankin' new bosses assistant, Hailey. Foolproof, bro. Nothing could possibly go wrong with that. I don't actually hate the chemistry between Gunnar and Hailey, but I really hope they keep the yogurt metaphor going for at least two more episodes, because it is gross and hilarious.
Because I found out that the actor is British in real life, and I'm easy.
Because I can't figure out what else she's been in, and Google isn't doing its job. Help!
"If You Don't Like Country Music You're Lying" Pick of the Week
There was only one song this episode, and it wasn't quite worthy of my Pick of the Week, so I'll just leave you with one of my all-time favorite Country duetsbetween Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood.
"We Live in Two Different Worlds"
- SNL is doing skits about Juliette's kleptomania. My dream is to have SNL make fun of me. Is stealing shit all I have to do?
- "As McKenna would say, any publicity is good publicity." "I don't think she'd say that."
- The way Rayna's whole person just cracked while telling Deacon, "I do need you." just killed me. I didn't sign up for this show to feel feelings.
- I hate when people start clapping during a song at a concert. Because when it stops, it's the most awkward thing in the world. I don't want to spend the whole song trying to keep on beat. That's the artist's job.
yummmm ketchup and cream cheese on pasta!