Emily Thorne is a big ball of contradictions. Kind yet cold. Damaged yet determined. She can swing an ax without chipping her manicure. And although she's mostly a mystery, we do know that she spent a lot of time in Japan getting trained in her mission to enact revenge on her father's behalf. Obviously, Emily Thorne attended none other than Satoshi Takeda's Revenge Camp.
Mike Kelly knows that a good camp story makes for great television. Since Emily's diploma from RC resulted in her becoming one of the most badass and likable villains of all time, I couldn't help but ponder the nature of Em's training. It wasn't Maury boot camp lockdown, but some serious East Asian Samurai Business went down. Here's what I suspect to be a typical day at Revenge Camp.
4:30am Wake up. (Waking up after 6:00am is for people with love in their hearts)
4:35am Brush teeth for 5 minutes not the recommended 3 (The first rule of revenge is to trust no one… Looking at you, dentists.)
4:40am Drink 13 egg yolks and pretend they are your enemies' unborn children.
4:45am-7:45am Three hours of mirror time to practice snidely smiling with your mouth while simultaneously saying "I'm gonna fuck you up” with your eyes. This is something Emily needs to perfect, as it was invented by her nemesis.
This camp sounds awesome. I brush my teeth until they bleed, match my lipstick to my outfit perfectly by refusing to wear either one, and I once watched a movie about two golden retrievers who become best friends, then gay lovers, and then one dies of AIDS when I was 13. Where do I sign up?