Deb: "Are you … are you the serial killer"
Where's Eddie Jimmy Olmos when you need him? Oh, right. He's dead in a freezer somewhere. I miss that crazy, pock-faced coot…even though, yes, yes I know, it was really Baby Hanks who went a little cray cray as "The Doomsday Killer" and demonstrated some serious Buffalo Bill-style sewing skills. Last season's finale left us with bated breath, which has honestly gotten a little funky since then, so let's all do each other a favor and invest in some Altoids. As Deb barged into Dexter's kill room just in time to see him plunge a huge sword into DDK's chest, we all yelled a collective, "Ohhhh, shit!" Thankfully, season 7 picks up right where the madness left off, heaving us toward Dexter's denouement.
C Baby Hanks is wrapped up like an Easter ham. You're brandishing some major Crocodile Dundee-"No, this is a knife"-style cutlery, looming over him like Dom DeLuise at an all-you-can-eat buffet, and the best cover story you can come up with is, "I snapped"?! Even my bird-murdering cat's a better liar than that. At least she leaves her latest kill under the window to make it look like the poor thing dive-bombed into the glass. Sure, it's missing half its torso, both wings and most of its head, but at least it's slightly believable. And also, she's a CAT. Plus, you choose to bludgeon Victor with a fire extinguisher at the airport?? How uncouth. Somewhere, Trinity is rolling over in his grave.
B So clearly, we all knew that Deb wasn't going to let Dexter's BS story go. After all, unlike someone like me, who, when something doesn't "feel right," represses those feelings until I wind up in the kitchen at 3 a.m. dry-heaving into an empty tub of Cool Whip, Deb's like Dudley-Do-Right on meth, and her drug of choice is justice.
C+ Someone's got their pink power suit on and getting her freshly manicured hands dirty with some real gumshoe detective work! Too bad it quickly devolved into a rogue investigation, which will probably land LaGuerta with a promotion (or a date with Dexter's kill room).
Quinn & Batista
C & CThree words: vodka and strippers. Quinn's still careening toward his own episode on"Intervention," and Batista's like a battered wife, who's too barnacled to his partner to put him in for a transfer (even though, if memory serves, Quinn did almost get him killed last season!). These two are like watching, The Odd Couple if Felix Unger wielded a firearm instead of a vacuum and Oscar's room was covered in coke-addled strippers instead of dirty laundry.
- This episode is Masuka-light. Bring back more of my favorite, sex-crazed forensics investigator!