Ah, summer premiere season. Forget the pools and beaches opening, you know it's summer when the USA Network launches new episodes of your favorite guilty pleasure shows. The slate of summer programming on USA is like a menu at an ice cream parlor: everything's sweet and colorful, but there's not too much substance. And that's just what you want for the long, hot summer months.
The Easter Bunny has a special treat for us this Sunday: the return of Game of Thrones, everyone’s favorite blood-spurting, bosom-exhibiting, dragon-stealing fantasy adaptation!
Have you been clutching your pearls since the climactic season-two finale of Downton Abbey, waiting patiently for that endless swoon at Matthew and Mary's engagement to finally leave your body? I have! Downton's second season ripped through the house like Lost's smoke monster, occasionally for the better but generally for the worse.
This Sunday we return to the highly anticipated, newly Emmy-award winning Homeland and, I've got to be honest, I'm worried. I'm not just concerned for Carrie's unpredictable mental stability or how Brody's wavering moral compass will threaten the nation's greatest leaders — I'm worried to see if their growth in popularity and media coverage will ruin the viewing pleasure.
With the crisp air and changing leaves of fall comes a desire to get back to business and no one takes care of business quite like Alicia Florrick. For the first time since the series began, Alicia and her lothario husband, gubernatorial candidate Peter, have formed a united front. This could change the entire dynamic of the show. Well, that and that fact that Alicia's boss/on-again-off-again paramour Will is likely still madly in love with her. Alicia Florrick Just how committed is Alicia to Peter now that he's running for governor and living in their old house with their kids?
Until a couple months ago I had never even seen a promo spot for an episode of Burn Notice. I had a passing familiarity with the title and instinctively knew it was about orange-tinted spies or cops or something in Miami; just enough context to fully appreciate Aziz Ansari's set about his cousin Harris. However, that changed one night when the boyfriend and I were visiting my parents: Burn Notice was on the TV, the boyfriend was sick – halfway through the episode, it became apparent that I was the third wheel in a bourgeoning love affair.
I know what you're thinking. Really, I do. It goes something like this: There are so many characters. So much happened. How do we succinctly recap last year's killer season? By house? By character? By deaths? Births? Sex? Secrets? Battles? Counts of incest? What's the best way to cram all of season one into your brain like a hot dagger through the eye? Like a 10-year old out a window? Like an imp's __ in a whore's ? Like a boar's tusk through a bloated gut? Like a traitor's head on an imposing spike? Like a horse's heart down your impregnated gullet? I don't know.
Step outside, look around, can you feel it in the air? A fresh new season is upon us! … Spring? What's spring got, Dandelions? Warm(ish) weather? Song birds? Finch, please! I'm talking about Mad Men! Season 5 is here, ya'll. The promotional posters are all around! IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL THIS TIME OF YEAR! Spring comes once year, but we haven't experienced a new Mad Men since October of 2010! Who was even president back in 2010? Some black guy, I'll bet. What's that? Not convinced that Mad Men is the best? Well, I'm not a salesman, but you know who is?
Characters welcome, indeed! The doldrums of winter are brightened only by our brief glimpse into the lives of the rich and unhealthy when Royal Pains returns tonight at 10pm on USA. The first half of season 3 saw the Lawson brothers move back into mysterious benefactor Boris' gorgeous Hamptons mansion after spending the summer squatting at 'New Parts' Newberg's place. Although, I imagine squatting in a humongous seaside villa isn't so terrible.
I see them long hard times to come... Justified is just(ified) about upon us (Tues, Jan 17th, 10 PM - FX). No, not the J.T. album of the same name(though that's on in the background as I watch all television), but the FX program that goes by that title. "That's the show about cowboys right?" said someone's dad. No, but close. Seeing as this article marks Justified's Character Grades debut, I'll let Wikipedia do the "describin'"... ...pretty much. Justified is just good TV.
