The Other Shoe.
"Nobody loves me or likes me or even wants to drunkenly dry hump me!” –Tamara
Spin the Bottle is one of those mythological school-age rites of passage that's up there with Christmas pageants and impassioned student council speeches -- writers and producers try to trick us into thinking these events actually took place in real life. Does anyone really recall playing a legit game of Spin the Bottle? Trick question; of course you don't recall it, because you were probably wasted.
Our girl Jenna has to make a choice of her own when even the bottle can't decide between two very different cuties, Matty and Jake. Four minutes into a forced Seven Minutes in Heaven sesh with Matty it's clear that her decision was made -- Matty and Jenna were officially coming out of the closet as a couple. Poor Jake! Nope, not poor Jake at all. He turned into the resident high school hottie by default now that Matty McKibben fully DTR'd with Jenna. For a girl with no apparent illnesses, a roof over her head, and a relatively bright future, Jenna sure knows how to rock the pessimism. She's convinced that the titular shoe will drop, sending her newly perfect world into a spiral of unhappiness. But this is high school, so of course she's right.
I love Jenna. At least, I want to. She's the ultimate cool girl -- great friends, a chill attitude, and her pick of the gentleman. Literally. But she's also kind of a whiny beeyotch. It's like she's complaining about the temperature of the water she just found in the desert. Just drink it! Drink the water and be grateful. This metaphor has gone astray, but you must see my point. She picks Matty, seems happy, gets offered a trip to Europe and suddenly she's a big old sad sack. Something doesn't add up. I hate to say it (and it makes me feel really old), but TAKE THE DAMN TRIP TO EUROPE! Matty, as cute and chiseled and charming as he may be, will be there when you get back. And if he's not, screw him, you just went to Europe! Ugh, but naturally she chooses to stay home and spend the summer with Matty at camp and then immediately regrets her decision, feeling like she has what she wants but not what she needs. I kind of want to smack her, or at least shake her by the shoulders like Adam Sandler and that fat little kid in Billy Madison.
When is Tamara getting her spin-off show? She is beyond fantastic and I'm SO happy she got some action other than that slimy cheater, Ricky Schwartz. Tamara + Jake = adorbs. Their car makeout scene was electric! And then they danced! They looked like they were having a blast, and more power to 'em.
"This year has been craptastic, suckdrastic"...not anymore, lady!
There has been a wild animal resting peacefully inside of mild-mannered, yet funktastic Ming. And she let it out tonight! Not only did she suggest selling their panties (ew, who says that?) to foreigners to pay for their trip to Europe, she got wasty face at the party and declared that she would be breaking more than just the rules if you, ahem, recall. All that crazy plus a megawatt kiss from her skittish crush made for a pretty epic night for Ming.
Matty's come a long way from being too embarrassed to even acknowledge Jenna, let alone admit his feelings for her. He seems legitimately infatuated by her and has no trouble smooching her at lunch and calling her his GF. Sigh. He's also on the sensible side of the 'should I or shouldn't I go to Europe' conundrum that only Jenna seems to struggle with. He tells her to go! What a stand up guy. But his charms are too powerful and she decides to stay by his side. Did anyone else get the feeling he was none too pleased about her impending proximity throughout the summer? It was as if an "I've made a huge mistake" (a la GOB Bluth) was about to tumble from his perfect lips.
"We're gonna get paid and you're gonna get laid!”
Newly single and ready to mingle, Jake is fully reaping the benefits of having been passed over by Jenna. But he's always been a bit of a sensitive soul and being flocked by vapid chicks just isn't his style. Enter: Tamara. Once thought to be too much woman for Jake, it turns out she's just the right amount. Don't you just love them together?! I also totally dug how calm and cool he was about Jenna's choice. Very classy. Don't hate the playa, hate the game!
Ah, Miss Saxton. She certainly got her comeuppance by way of witnessing her on-again-off-again
disease transmitter boyfriend swapping spit with the stylish and very gay fellow student, Clark, literally in the closet. Shocked into a mild, yet drunken docility, she almost, almost gets out an apology to Jenna and Tamara before passing out cold. Progress.
"I am a bitch, but I am not a heartless bitch."
"The Other Shoe” –
How is everyone not completely and totally in love with this show? It's started to have a serious impact on my life -- I used 'DTR' in a sentence the other day and I thought my friends were going to punch me in the face. I am a grown-ass woman and I can't get enough of the Awkward gang. It's uncomfortable how attractive I find Matty McKibben. Okay, I need to stop. While I wasn't a big fan of Jenna's wishy-washy antics, I was mega impressed with the development of Tamara and Ming throughout the season. Plus, Jake handled rejection like a champ and Matty is actually behaving like a nice, normal dude. Our PHHSers are growing up!
Oh, and lest we forget, Clark, Jenna's sassy gay classmate, was her anonymous commenter all this time! Interesting...
- Clark rejecting Sadie during Spin the Bottle by saying he's not into bears
- "No, she's a lesbutante! She keeps it strictly above the belt.” –Tamara after catching her mom making out with a lady
- Jenna's "shoe drop" metaphor needs a little work. Seriously? A Converse versus a Manolo?
- In Matty's head, going to Europe = eating pizza off a girl's chest. Kid needs some culture.