Nikki and Paulo? More like Icky and We're-Both-the-Worst-O.
God bless the internet. Without it, how would we know what baby pandas look like when they sneeze? Or what the best One Direction cover sounds like? Or what the American record for a beer mile is? I can go on and on, but you get it; the internet is a wonderful, albeit sometimes terrifying place. It's how this site exists, and it's how Community was saved. But MOST IMPORTANTLY, it's what prompted--nay, demanded--the somehow-not-soon-enough killing off of unarguably the two worst characters in the history of television, Lost's Nikki Fernandez and Paulo [no surname given, so I'll make one up] Peido. For the purposes of consistency with the rest of the 100 Characters of Summer, though, I'll just combine the two of them into one despicable character named Garbagebag. Moving on!As you may not recall, because they are the most worthless and forgettable people we've ever been forced to watch, Garbagebag was introduced in Season 3 with such abruptness that it was almost offensive; upon Hurley's return to camp after being sent back by The Others, he tells a group of survivors, led by a rando named Nikki, that Jack has been captured, and that Eko needs her and Paulo's (another rando) help in bringing him back to health after his exposure to the Swan Station implosion/almost becoming a polar bear's Lunchable. And just like that, Garbagebag went from a character that never existed to all of a sudden being assigned responsibilities that took Sawyer, Shannon, et al. over half a season to earn. Not only that, but as the season progressed, we unfortunately learned a tiny bit more about Garbagebag. Nikki, the fairer half of Team Awful, is a complainer about social justice within the camp and incessantly whines about her exclusion from group activities. Meanwhile Paulo, the Brazilian and thus presumably smellier half of the Dregs Duo, is just a control freak who disapproves of anything his girlfriend Nikki wants to do, and always seems to be holding her back, one-finger-through-the-belt-loop-of-her-jorts at a time.I read somewhere that initially the plan for Garbagebag was to introduce them as a couple Claire discovers having gross, pointless intercourse in Jack's tent, and that they were to have a more fleshed out arc involving Nikki's career as a crappy actress. But shortly after they became shantyhold names (because "household" is giving them too much credit), audiences took to the internet with great fervor about their disgust with these two randomly BUT OH SO IMPORTANT people, and showrunners subsequently axed the two shitheads from the show in the most disjointed, shitheaddiest way possible: an entire EPISODE devoted to Garbagebag's backstory and ultimate demise. I mean, nothing pleases an audience more than responding to negative backlash about two abhorrent characters by devoting a whole HOUR of the program to explain these two abhorrent characters and their history of fucking, fighting, poisoning television executives, stealing diamonds, and throwing Medusa spiders at each other, right?? You know, all of the things that continued to matter in the canon of Lost the second their donkeypunch of an episode ended.To be fair, though, once Damon Lindelof recognized how despised Nikki and Paulo were, he felt the need to expeditiously create an entire episode about why these two people are total jerks that deserved to die, so in essence I guess there was some hope for these two upon conception. Maybe if they were introduced in a more subtle, natural way, then they would have panned out as more likable characters in the annals of Lost lore. But alas, we can only judge them based on the brief--but still not brief enough--mark they left on the show: as a couple of selfish, murderous piles of boar shit who were buried alive and STILL left us feeling like that wasn't satisfying enough.
Purgatory Flash Sideways, team Garbagebag.